It's a mad ad world
Prakash, my little friend, said to me proudly, 'My brother has Jaggu'. He was referring to a popular germ on TV that causes jaundice. Have TV commercials begun to outdo Science teachers in school, I wondered.
Putting my couch-potato skills to good use, I park myself on the sofa, grab the remote and 'learn' that bacteria take the shape of wriggly worms that vanish with a good household cleaning agent! Led by a clever chieftain, the aforementioned bacteria execute a socially organized attack. A sod like me thought social group formation happened only among bees and ants!
Then, come the boosters. These six-pack abs-sporting superheroes are in everything, from shampoos to fuel. Strange and powerful beings, they supposedly add extra strength, extra power, extra energy, extra nutrition and extra protection to any product. Where can I get a bottle of the booster itself, I wonder. I need to add it to my thesis to make my arguments extra forceful.
The chemicals, formulae and special agents in soaps, toothpastes and cleaners, advertised on TV, are so hardworking that they can put any bai worth the bartans she washes to shame. They shine, clean, polish, dissolve, protect, varnish, whiten, colour and lighten. They also, at no extra cost, make the neighbours jealous.
Lest I forget, they are 'active' and 'advanced', so they keep the user (sucker?) looking daisy-fresh all day long.
The most important technological advances in this century are for personal hygiene products. At least, that's what TV commercials tell us. Take, for instance, moisture retention. Creams, liquids and oils "lock" water in our skin or hair, reversing the rules of evaporation. Now, if we only had a cream to spread for rainwater retention in deserts!
I am looking forward to getting the spray that can turn people into chocolate. What a way to end world hunger!
Some pointers regarding measurement and statistics on TV are also interesting. You might have heard of qualitative and quantitative assessment. There is also a special non-quantifiable quantity in TV ads. Often known by terms such as 'extra', 'more', 'better' and '99.9 per cent', this quantity can never be exactly measured except by special fairness or whiteness meters, or by the quantity of dust that sticks to a wall or by the amount of hair in an evil-looking comb, or by the glow on a pampered face.
I mean to write so much more on the Science lessons taught on TV, but I simply have to 'vanish' my bathroom stains with my super complex stain remover that is tough on dirt but soft on my hands. Did I mention that my super complex stain remover can also cleverly differentiate between the oil on my hands and the oil in the kitchen sink?!
Putting my couch-potato skills to good use, I park myself on the sofa, grab the remote and 'learn' that bacteria take the shape of wriggly worms that vanish with a good household cleaning agent! Led by a clever chieftain, the aforementioned bacteria execute a socially organized attack. A sod like me thought social group formation happened only among bees and ants!
Then, come the boosters. These six-pack abs-sporting superheroes are in everything, from shampoos to fuel. Strange and powerful beings, they supposedly add extra strength, extra power, extra energy, extra nutrition and extra protection to any product. Where can I get a bottle of the booster itself, I wonder. I need to add it to my thesis to make my arguments extra forceful.
The chemicals, formulae and special agents in soaps, toothpastes and cleaners, advertised on TV, are so hardworking that they can put any bai worth the bartans she washes to shame. They shine, clean, polish, dissolve, protect, varnish, whiten, colour and lighten. They also, at no extra cost, make the neighbours jealous.
Lest I forget, they are 'active' and 'advanced', so they keep the user (sucker?) looking daisy-fresh all day long.
The most important technological advances in this century are for personal hygiene products. At least, that's what TV commercials tell us. Take, for instance, moisture retention. Creams, liquids and oils "lock" water in our skin or hair, reversing the rules of evaporation. Now, if we only had a cream to spread for rainwater retention in deserts!
I am looking forward to getting the spray that can turn people into chocolate. What a way to end world hunger!
Some pointers regarding measurement and statistics on TV are also interesting. You might have heard of qualitative and quantitative assessment. There is also a special non-quantifiable quantity in TV ads. Often known by terms such as 'extra', 'more', 'better' and '99.9 per cent', this quantity can never be exactly measured except by special fairness or whiteness meters, or by the quantity of dust that sticks to a wall or by the amount of hair in an evil-looking comb, or by the glow on a pampered face.
I mean to write so much more on the Science lessons taught on TV, but I simply have to 'vanish' my bathroom stains with my super complex stain remover that is tough on dirt but soft on my hands. Did I mention that my super complex stain remover can also cleverly differentiate between the oil on my hands and the oil in the kitchen sink?!
1 comment:
I'm a fan. I so love ur writing. lol.. amazing
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